There is alot more but what im saying is I have never and would never turn my back on any of them. Im slowly getting used to all this , what choice do I have? Thanks for listening. Of course she was rude. Her reaction was awful. This reply is two months later so hopefully your feeling better.
I would tell her that you saw the face she made and therefore you can no longer be friends. Then ignore her. Your email address will not be published.
Does that ever happen to you? We want others to listen because we seek to be heard and understood. Worse still, studies have shown that the pain of being ignored is worse than being bullied. The risk of ignoring social pain It happens in an instant. How social pain changes behaviour You become less willing to cooperate, respond to emails or show up to or contribute in meetings.
In meetings, this is about ensuring everyone has a voice, takes turns, and to encourage the quieter personalities and introverts to speak up early and often! Make inclusivity a core competency that is valued just as much as expertise. Keep your smoking guns at the door. This is about social etiquette and respect. Keeping mobile phones switched to silent or off — and out of sight, to give the person who is speaking your full and undivided attention.
The mere presence of a smartphone on a table diminishes the level of connection in a conversation. Provide a safe space for opinions to be voiced and questions to be asked without fear of judgment, ridicule or humiliation.
Praise in public, criticise in private. You did great by reaching out with this question. My husband has ignored me the majority of the time. He has improved some, but it will never be what I want. Yes, that is sad. Reminds me of The Bridges of Madison County. Ever see it? Hopefully you have the latter and perhaps have some aspects you can enjoy about each other. My husband who I am considering leaving is emotionally exhausting.
What should I do. Jay — can this be a safe place where people come for support or do you have to get your back up and try to defend an entire gender? Tina, I totally understand. I spent 20 years in one long silent treatment. The longer you are with them the more like them you become because it is the only way to survive.
If you feel you still have the spark of life in you, maybe consider leaving him and finding yourself, and maybe a bit of happiness. You could get a lawyer and look at your options. In a 21 year old marriage with a sulker who goes silent for days. A very lonely life. Zero sex or intimacy for years. He works hard at work but isolates himself from 6pm until 9pm when he goes to sleep. He is self serving and self absorbed. Totally uninterested in me. But, I can go wherever I want, whenever.
I often go to our vacation home to get away from him. I dread when he retires. But suppose he outlives you? And suppose you only outlive him by 1 year? You really need to do what you can to leave. Your kids are grown now. Start planning your escape. I had this boy best friend before. We only had 6 months of being a bestfriend. One thing is for sure, he express his feelings through text that if he courted me, would I say, Yes to him?
Though I really like him but I really wanted to be like the way we are at that time. It was 1 week after my debut and almost New Year of at that time, he was admitted to hospital because of dehydration. I replied that he should not say those words because there are still people who needs him and loves him including myself. It was already 10 years but his reply still fresh on me up to this moment. His reply leaves me standing paralyzed that says, please give your love to others because you never loved me..
I loved him more than anyone, maybe not in the way he thinks but I do loved him in my own way. That was the start of the silent treatment. Do I still deserved that? I even contacted him via mobile phone, friend requests on FB but I think I was ignored. He never replied. I still have this feeling incomplete of mine until now. What should I do? This argument started because he had excluded me when his family came down for an overnight visit and I was upset.
He then was, in my opinion, rude to me. He has since gone away and has been silent overnight. This is not the first time.
How do I handle it? Sorry Kathy. I suggested that my husband park his truck down the block so the plow would be able to clear the front of our house. Well he flipped out.
The quarrel was my fault I guess. His father used to do the same thing. Yet he can do it to me? How old ARE these men? They sound so immature!! How is this making a marriage work? Most men are so cowardly.. This happened to me twice!! Really pathetic. I had no problem.. Would you blame me for gold digging! Guys told me all guys cheat eventually.. After 2 yrs.. I am getting the silent treatment because I pulled my husband up for saying you people referring to our kids when he was doing my daughters biology with her.
He also said it has got nothing to do with you. You deserve someone better. By doing this you will neglect your own happiness. Surely relationships are a two way street, not a one way street, there should be give and take on both sides. Not just giving by one partner and continuously taking by the other. My opinion. And goes off, only to come back and pretend like nothing happened? He needs therapy before you marry him. If you can handle it …. But it is probably a pattern.
It is harmful to you, him and your relationship. Tell him that and see if he accepts it. If not, it may be time to break the engagement. Run, Kathy, run! It will never get better. It will only worsen. Do it for the sake of your future kids and your health — nothing good can come from living with an adult who cannot handle life as an adult.
He will wear you down and make you sad. You will be walking on eggshells all the time — would you want your own daughter to be with someone who treats her that way? So how should it be any different for you. Just no — from my own experience. The last thing you want is to be married to this person. My sister married something very similar. Not only did the disrespect, name calling and such get worse, but he started reading her texts, watching her on the Find me app, going through her social media and made sure he was all glitz up while sis and the kids were rags and a car that barely worked.
You need to watch the dynamics between his parents for that was the first model of how relationships work he learned from. He could break the mold, but whatever concerning behavior he exhibits now will just grow if not addressed and weeded out.
If these important individuals were to spend too much time on futile things which are under their pay grade, then they would be taking bandwidth away from what needs focusing on. By ignoring someone who chooses to spend time on you, you serve to differentiate your time from theirs in terms of its value. It will remain on record until you respond.
Silence has the perk of a lack of incrimination when used right. You cannot be held accountable for causing pain to another person by remaining silent in response to their own attacks. Silence from your end, only has the capacity to get you in trouble when you use it explicitly to cause pain to innocent people.
Remember thereby, that silence as a psychological warfare tool is most effective when the actions of another warrant its use. Ensure that if an investigation is conducted into the objective series of events, your silence was not the first move made.
Label a discrete malicious act someone else conducts as warranting silence from your end prior to implementing the strategy to ignore. Self defense methods which are used in offensive ways constitute abuse.
Serving the innocent with a psychologically painful bout of silence is not an act which will go unpunished. The important step of ensuring your silence is a nonabusive response, rather than an abusive attack, is the most important step in limiting the effects of potential pitfalls.
A major pitfall that people who strive to make a point with their silence fall into is being disproportionate with their silent responses. They block contacts for trivial things in their phone, and ghost them for simply saying the wrong thing in a past conversation. In doing so, these selectively ignorant individuals exhibit hints of narcissism in their course of action. One of the first things we want to do to someone who hurt us, is to hurt them back.
We go on revenge mode. But is this strategic? Well, look around you. However, use this blog post to adopt a new perspective. Why get revenge? It feels good. However, with ignoring? Ignoring someone who hurt you is a cornerstone habit that leads to many more dividends. Revenge Mode Revenge is a short term pleasure for long term pain. Because you are giving the other human what most humans cherish: Attention.
It gives their ego a certain feeling of power. They feel like they have control over you without them even needing to be present. But revenge takes it another level further.
It affects YOU.
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